It said "Rachel" on it.
It was empty.
My initial thought was: "empty, just like my arms and her cradle"
One of my few regrets is that we didn't video tape anything since she wasn't alive most of the time we had her. I wish so much I had video of me holding my daughter and I'm disappointed that we just tossed that idea out the window when she died. But why tonight? Why after the day I've had did it have to be tonight that I pull out the video camera for the first time in 5 1/2 months?! *sigh*
All I could do was cry. Then I finally checked my email and there was one from a blog friend, Lucka from Canada. She sent me the song Blessings (playing on blog now) which I've posted before, but tonight... it meant more. She sent me the email over a week ago and I just "happened" to check it right after I just "happened" to have my heart break over the empty video tape. Tonight I'm begging God to show me the blessing in all my pain. I'm just not feeling it these days.....