Tuesday, October 5, 2010

5 Down, 2 to go!

I couldn't get out of bed this morning...I was sooo tired.  I knew we needed to be out of the house in 1/2 an hour and there I was laying there trying to keep my eyes open.  I finally made it to the shower 5 minutes before my mom got here to watch the kids.  Needless to say, we were late for my appointment at Maine Medical.  But, that didn't matter because my appointment was at 10:00 and they didn't call me in until almost 11:00 - wish I would have stayed in bed a little longer!  I have been so tired I'm having trouble doing anything.  I picked up some liquid Floradix (iron) tonight though and I just drank the whole bottle, so I should feel better in the morning. :o)  Kidding.  Hopefully I'll start to have more energy in the next week...please pray for that.

So, the first part of my appointment was tough.  The ultrasound tech was having trouble getting a good picture of Rachel and said that I had a lot of extra fluid.  I didn't get any 4D pictures this time, which I was expecting and had my heart set on, so I was disappointed.  We did get a profile picture this time though, but that was sad because it seems like her scull stops lower than it looked like in our last pictures, which was really hard to see.  My heart aches for my baby girl.

We met with the nurse, and that went well.  She was very nice.  We told her about our desire to have a c-section and she asked the reasons.  I gave her my list of reasons and she said she'd let the doctor know. She told us that a vaginal delivery would be safer before she left, so as we waited, we prepared ourselves for another "no".

We had some friends over last night and spent time praying that God would make a way for this to happen for us.  I had been praying specifically all week that He would clearly shut and open doors so that I knew which way to go.  I had started to second guess my decision and was afraid that I might be trying to make something happen that God might have been trying to protect me from.  I didn't want to look back and wish I had listened to the "no's".  I was prepared to leave there and have to ask another hospital to do it,  because after our appt. there 2 months ago, I didn't think there was a chance they'd do it. 

The doctor came in, sat down, and told us that he thinks our request is reasonable.  He went over the potential risks, and was careful to say that he wanted us to keep them in their proper perspective because they are rare and they do c-sections all the time.  He said that, before he came in, he asked 4 other doctors there what they thought and they all said that they would do it, so now he just needs to ask the other 2 and we'll be all set!  Please pray that the other 2 will agree.  We talked about the details of how it will all go, recovery time and other information I'll need for the future.  I asked about my mom & sister being able to see her (they have seen all 3 of our kids be born and can't come in for a c-section) I wanted to know if she only lives for a few minutes, will they miss it and was very encouraged to hear him say that he thinks we'll get a few hours with her.  Obviously, he can't tell us that for sure, but it was music to my ears.   I am praying daily for more than that, but hours sounds better than minutes.  I will be grateful for whatever time I get with her, including now. 

I have to go back in 2 weeks, which will be hard to keep up with, but they need to keep an eye on my fluid.  Please pray that my fluid won't build up too quickly.  It can cause premature labor.  It occurs because Rachel is not swallowing as often as she should, so pray that her sucking will get stronger and that will take care of that problem.  She is very healthy in every other way.  All her organs look great and her cord is circulating blood properly.  She weighs about 2lbs 3 oz right now, which is average for healthy babies at 29 weeks - this made me so happy to hear.  She is amazing. 

We walked out of the office and went to get on the elevator.  Matt told me to give another pregnant girl our card with the blog address and I really didn't want to, but went with it.  She took it and said "I've got double trouble"  Matt asked "how so?"  "I'm having twins, twin girls.  And I have an 18 month old boy at home.  This ought to be great."  I said "Well, if they ever give you a hard time, give us a call cause we'd love to hold one of them" and told her to take care as we headed for the car.  I pray that she'll someday see the great blessing those precious baby girls are. 

I was so excited that the doctor responded so well, that I wanted to scream.  I didn't though cause a screaming pregnant girl can be scary and I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. :o)

There really is no answer for this turn of events other than answered prayer.  Thank you to everyone who has been bringing us before the Lord.  I am so grateful.  Our God hears and answers prayers.  I asked Him for a clear answer and I am confident that this is it.  I am also extremely happy that it was the answer I was hoping for.  I know if His will was for me to have a vaginal birth, that He would have closed this door, especially since it was only open a crack to begin with.  And I also know that if He changes His mind and I go into labor early, He will prepare me in advance.  I know that I don't need to worry about the future potential risks or the con's of having a c-section, because God has again and again proven Himself trustworthy, reliable and aware.  I know He is in this.

I came home and took a nap, which never happens.  I fell asleep saying "thank You God" over and over with a renewed sense of hope for Rachel's birth.  I am so relieved.  I think I'll probably sleep better tonight than I have in a long time. 


  1. wow reading this with tears I don't know you and you don't know me and I want to know more about you and your family I am praying and so is my church my bible study group is as well God please give this baby a change to live her life the way she should Father please keep this family safe I pray that baby Rachel will be born with nothing wrong with her there are so many prayers going out for this family God you safe and heal may this family see the Peace they need to see Amen

  2. Stacy,
    I am so happy for you! It makes me smile that one of your prayers has been answered.I hope you did sleep better last night! I also listened to so many woman complain about their pregnancy while I was pregnant and I wanted to tell that my story..how greatful they should be for being blessed with a healthy child. I hope that God continues to answer your prayers. I will continue praying that your fluid levels stay low. Thinking of you all and praying everyday.
    Love, Chrissy

  3. Stacy, I don't know you, but I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you. I just happened to run a facebook search on anencephaly (to see if any new groups or anything had shown up since the last time I checked), and Rachel's picture showed up in the search results.

    She is beautiful. I know you are cherishing this time you have with her.

    I carried an anencephalic daughter to term in 1999. I can honestly say that it was one of the wisest decisions my husband and I have ever made in our lives. It can be hard at times, but you will never regret a moment of it. Talitha (my daughter) taught me so much more than I can even express. Her short life touched so many people -- 11 years later, I still hear brand new stories about how she affected lives. I can tell from reading your blog that Rachel will do the same.

    Know that your family is being prayed for by a family who has 'been there, done that' and who has been blessed beyond measure because of it.

    Praying for you, for a miraculous healing for Rachel, for the doctors to go along with your wishes, and that this bittersweet time will be one of God's richest blessings.


  4. I too am a stranger to you, but a "Sister-in-Christ". I have heard about you in the form of a prayer request. No details... and I began praying. Now I understand more completely. Thank you for sharing your story of this Miracle of Love.

    I am an RN who worked in the maternity area of several hospitals. During that time, I have personally witnessed births and heard stories of babies who doctors "pronounced hopeless". God proved them wrong. I also was encouraged by the doctors to abort my second baby due to my cancer they had discovered while I was pregnant. They assured me it would be for the best and my life might be in danger if I did not have the procedure. I knew immediately that there was NO WAY I would end my baby's life because of their fears. He and I are both FINE! Faith is an awesome gift from THE ONE who is exceedingly able to do the impossible in man's eyes!

    I add my prayers of faith to yours and others. May God bring you the peace that passes understanding as you wait upon Him and your beautiful baby, Rachel.

    May your joy be complete in His plans for you and your family. I shall continue to pray and follow your blog for updates. Thank you for allowing me to share this very personal journey.

    In His Grip...With His Love,

  5. How courageous of you and how heart wrenching . The strenght of your love is absolutely inspiring. May God bring a gift of hope and inspiration to all. Your loved one may have only a small time on earth but God has a plan for this miracle to be born and it is in his hands. My love to you and your entire family.
    My prayers and thoughts will be with you.
    - Patricia Garretson

  6. Can I just say that I danced around my living room after reading this post! Who ever thought we'd be rejoicing over a c-section? - Anne

  7. I found your blog yesterday, through a facebook post on OFW. I don't know you, but we re sisters in Christ! I read through your posts with tears streaming, God moved my heart to see the trust you have so securely placed in Him! We recently had a second baby "go home" to be with Him, and while it was heartwrenching, we were also able to use that time as a testimony to God's provision and answer to prayers. We have 3 beautiful girls (6, 4 and 1) to hold here, and 2 babies waiting in Heaven to meet! We are surrounded by unsaved family, and to be able to stand in God's strength in the midst of the storm, has been a wonderful blessing, and a beautiful witnessing opportunity!

    We, like you, trust in the goodness of God, even when following His leading goes against what doctors say should/could be right. We decided to not intervene with either of our losses, and God blessed that time of "waiting" with great strength and growth. I will continue to bring you in prayer before the face of our Almighty God, that He will continue to minister to your hearts, and lead you in His will for baby Rachel's delivery, opening and closing doors! Also praying for your physical strength (I have endured pregnancy anemia also), and your daily testimony before your children.
    Thank you for sharing your testimony and heart through this trial.

    In Christ,

  8. Stacy,
    I'm working my way backwards :) I'm very glad the dr's are co-operating. 7 yrs ago they gave us a harder fight. It came down to me just digging my heels in and saying, "It's MY choice how my daughter is born, NOT yours." AFTER that, they agreed to my section. A very dear friend of mine is a labor and delivery nurse and she later told me that after seeing my beautiful daughter it was most likely my firm decision for a c-section that gave me my 19hrs and 50 minutes with Ella.


We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes