Thursday, October 14, 2010

Rachel's Birth Plan

I made a page with our plan for Rachel's birth.  You can click on it to the left.  I found it extremely helpful to me as I was preparing this to be able to read other people's plans.  I have been working on this here and there since we found out she has anencephaly and it has weighed on me significantly.  The real heart breaker was when I went to save it on my computer and realized that I had already saved our plans for her funeral service...  you'll never understand what it does to a mother's heart to be planning your baby's funeral before you even get to plan her birth, until you've been there.  There are no words to explain the sadness.  My hope is that putting this on my blog will help other Mamas in this situation as they work their way through this daunting and painful step of this journey.  Of course knowing all the while, that we can plan anything we want, but we ultimately have no control.  That's difficult in most things, but when it comes to my sweet baby, difficult is not the word.  I am not positive that this will be our final draft.  We meet with the neonatologist on Wednesday and some things may change depending on how that goes, but I feel pretty confident that it is what I would like to see happen. more thing checked off my list... getting more real every day and I don't like it one bit.

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