Emotional Breakdown Anyone?

I thought I was feeling pretty good this morning.  I was tired, but totally oblivious to the fact that I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. 

I was up entirely way too late last night (as usual), and of course that combined with the bathroom runs and heartburn, I had another night of too little sleep.  Combine that with anemia and it's safe to say that I'm not on top of things. 

So, all it took was a mix up of scheduling my week (I had no idea what day I had to do what or where I needed to be when, or when I needed a sitter or didn't) and I started crying.  I cried...and cried some more...and cried some more.  My original thought was "I can't remember anything...I can't keep anything straight", at which point my friend quickly interjected that I have a ton going on.  That didn't seem to make me feel better though and my thoughts went to "I have WAY too much going on - how is one person supposed to do all this?" and from there, I was all over the place... "I can't believe I am going to go through all this and all I'm going to have left is this blanket - I'm carrying around a stupid blanket as if it's going to bring me any comfort later, knowing that it's in the ground with my baby.  I can't believe this is really happening to me...  I can't believe this is real.  This is not fair.  How am I supposed to do this?"  And I cried...and I cried...and I cried some more.  I sat in the sanctuary alone sobbing for 30 minutes knowing that there is no turning back.  There's no way out.  And it's not going to get any easier from here.