Thursday, October 14, 2010

Just call me Pigeon

Went to look at a cemetery in Rochester today...  would love to have one close to home.  The one that we liked I had decided against because last summer there was a homeless guy living in the back of it that we used to leave food for.  I drove through today and decided that I liked it too much to let a homeless guy scare me out of it, until I saw a guy sitting in a car at the back corner suspiciously looking down and licking his "cigarette" until he lit it and drove away...  OK, so maybe I'm paranoid because I started my drinking days in the back of cemeteries and did other not-so-legal things in them, but I know I want to be safe and comfortable when I go to visit my daughter's grave.  I found a space closer to the road that looked like it would be open for purchase and figured there wouldn't be anyone sleeping in the woods or getting high there, so I felt ok about it and decided I'd call and see if that was possible.

I drove out and was looking at the cemetery as I went passed, and I'll admit, I was driving slow...20 in a 30...and then I noticed the lady behind me was all bent out of shape, waving her arms and yelling at me cause I was slowing her down.  (only to get to the end of the road and have a red light anyway!)  But my first thought was "you'll be ok, Lady" and then my next one was that I wanted to get out at the light and apologize for delaying her busy life with my concern over where I would bury my baby's casket.  Sarcasm...never a good thing, but that's how I felt. 

But then I remembered the day I was rushing Sam to the hospital with one of his breathing attacks.  He was turning gray on me in the back seat and had stopped responding when I said his name.  I got stuck behind this woman going 20 in a 30... I beeped my horn in my terror and tried to get her to pull over so I could get by.  She waved at me with the "you'll be ok, Lady" kind of wave and kept on going 20.  Then she pulled into the parking lot...and surprise!  She worked in Frisbie's ER.  That would be why she was so slow...  there I go with that sarcasm again.  sorry.

My point in this is that I've been on both sides of the coin.  The one going 20 and the one wanting to go faster.  And what it comes down to is that you never know what someone else is dealing with.  I doubt that lady swearing at me today was bringing her baby to the hospital, but who knows what she has going on... can't be good with a response like that.  Just the same as the ER nurse had no idea my 15 month old son was in such bad shape in the backseat, she just thought I was impatient. (I was on the road to the ER, but hey, who would think you'd be in a rush there?)  ergh, sarcasm. 

Some days your the pigeon and other days your the statue...that's just the way it is.  I kind of wish that pigeons would find a better place to poop.

I got home and called another cemetery in Dover and the woman was very nice.  As we talked about the details, I had another moment where reality struck me.  She put me on hold so that she could look up where my Nana was buried so she could describe to me where the graves they are selling are, in comparison to where my Nana is.  I started to cry and I looked out the sliding glass door - the sky had turned gray and there were leaves falling down from the trees by the dozen.  I felt God speak to my heart... bend with me, Stacy, I'm with you through the seasons....


  1. wow wow what a story God is with you always through good or bad I am praying for you all HUGS keep your head up high and have Faith that's what I tell all my friend ladies at church we are all praying for you from N.H.God Bless you Stacy

  2. I am also always with you. In prayer, in thought, I am always holding you close. The poem I wrote for Rachel was at 3 am and on my mind the moment my eyes opened. Why, during stressful times, are our minds so active when we should be sleeping?
    Love, Mom

  3. My daughter Amelia is buried in the cemetary in Dover on Dover Point Road called St Mary's. There is a specific section for children that I think is beautiful. No one likes to speak of money for such a horrible thing like burying your baby, but they did not charge us the standard plot fee. Just wanted to let you know. You've deeply touched my heart with your story.



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