Saturday, January 29, 2011

I Love My Auntie

My sister called me the other day and said "I was just looking at a picture of me & Rachel and I just wanted to say 'thank you'...I know you didn't have to let me meet her, but I'm really glad I was there"...

Meg was the only other person who was blessed to meet Rachel while she was still alive outside my belly.  Many people got to know her while I was carrying her... her personality shone through even as she danced inside my womb, and people close to me saw that...but by the time they met her face to face, she was already in the arms of Jesus....

I had struggled with whether I wanted anyone in the OR with us...  My sister & mom are always will us when I have a baby and I'm not usually a shy person, but I felt very conflicted about this decision.  I didn't know how I would feel or if I would want anyone there when Rachel came into the world.  They had said we could have 1 person, depending on the doctor who was there and how they felt about it.  We decided that as long as the anaesthesiologist (they're in charge in the OR) would allow her, we would have Meg there.  I had no idea that she would be the only one to meet her alive... I really thought I would have long enough with her that others would too.... that was hard in the beginning, but every day I realize more that God was protecting my heart.  He knows exactly what I need.  And since everyone has different needs, He meets them differently and therefore, we all have different stories.  Sometimes I hear of babies living days and get sad that it wasn't our story, but I know Rachel was meant to live for 43 minutes, in the arms of her Mama & Daddy. 

Meg's friend had given me a bunch of girl clothes when I was pregnant.  I washed them all and got ready for my girl.  I remember someone coming over and seeing all the clothes folded on the table and looking at me as if I was in denial that my baby was going to die.  Well, I changed that girl probably 4 or 5 times... and this outfit was a special one; it says "I love my Auntie"...  and that she does :o) 

I'm glad you were there too, Meggie. :o)  Thank you for recognizing the gift she was.


  1. What a precious picture of Meg and Rachel. Nieces are very special and so are aunties. You can see the love Meg has for Rachel by how she's looking at her. Thanks for sharing! <3

  2. That is a very precious and touching story. I love the picture of them together....true love! Thanks again for sharing your journey with us!

  3. I'm sure she is so grateful for the time you allowed her to have with her. My hubby and I chose to just have us aside from my friends who were present to take pics and video. Having them there was a must IMO.

    I wish too that we had been given time, but it wasn't meant to be I suppose. But then I wonder too if it would have been harder on me to watch her pass. Maybe God knew what was best?


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