You've Stolen My Heart

Before I forget... BUY YOUR BULBS!  Tomorrow is the last day!  I have been so excited to see all the orders coming in - thank you!

OK, now the important stuff...  I went to my ultrasound today.  I was feeling kind of numb on the way there, preparing myself for the "what if's" but peaceful about the whole thing.  I kept thinking that I have a good feeling about this, and never did with Rachel - but then my mind goes to... that is just a feeling and feelings are not reality. 

I brought the kids an Amy Carmichael movie to watch (history for Des - I love homeschool :o) ) and cookies for "if they were good" yep, bribed them.  They were awesome and it was a totally stress free appt.  Options for Women is great like that cause they sat with them while I was in my u/s.

So, Jennifer wasn't able to see anything on the external u/s.  She left so I could get ready for the internal and I just prayed that if our baby was alive and growing, we'd see it.  She had to get someone else to be there for that part (one of their policies) and Marjorie came in.  I joked with her and said "you just want to see my baby, I know it" :o)  And within a few minutes, there it was.... a beating heart.  "thank You, Jesus" was all I could say.  And the tears of relief came down.  There isn't much to see on the picture, but I'm going to share it anyway because what's here really is proof of a soul.  A soul fearfully and wonderfully made by God.  A beating heart that just stole mine, regardless of how long it's with me.  I will love this baby forever.  You've stolen my heart, little one.

Baby Aube has grown exactly 6 days in the last 6 days... right on track.  So, mark this on your calendar... I was wrong about my cycle. :o)  I must have ovulated late... and since it makes absolutely NO sense that I could have tested postive as early as I did (day 27) after ovulating late, well, I'll chalk that up to God's plan!  He can do anything... He just defied science again!

I also need to say "thank you" to Chris & Anne Alix because they dontaed a HUGE screen tv for the u/s at Options in memory of their little girl, Rose.  I normally can't see what is on the screen and have to take Matt's word for it.  He wasn't with me and so I was so excited that I could actually see it from across the room!  Thank you!!  Rose was on my heart while I was there today, right along with Rachel.

And apparently my mom really thinks I'm having a girl cause she showed up yesterday and tossed a bag at me.  I saw pink, expecting it to be for Des...  nope.  Baby clothes.  I said "what if I'm having a boy?"  She said "you're not"  We'll see... and I promise, if it's a boy, I will not put him in any of these clothes. :o) At least not when we're going out :o)

What a roller coaster it's been!  Marjorie told me today that I am etitled to go up and down.  She always has the simplest, most perfect ways to let me know I'm not crazy... and to remind me that what I have been through is real and that if things are hard, it's ok.