I went to visit Rachel today and when I pulled up, her flowers were all rearranged. I was upset when I first saw it, but it appears that they tipped over and someone fixed them for me. (I'm not convinced the wind did it, but God had a purpose none the less) Desirae jumped right out and came running back with the journal to see if anyone wrote in it. I looked and saw that Matt had left me & Rachel notes:
I looked over and saw that when one of the baskets fell over, the rocks used to weigh it down had spilt out and were in a pile on the corner of her grave. I went to pick them up and stopped... I remembered the story of Joshua and the rock pile. We have a small version of that in our house. They handed rocks out after a sermon one Sunday last year. I put them in a little pile as a symbol of how God provides for us.
There was a cross cut out of the top of Rachel's casket that we were able to keep so we have a piece of it with us. Normally they put the person's name on it, but her cross was too little so they sent me an bigger one with her name. I put it in the middle of our rock pile to always remember what God did for us through her; how He prepared us and provided for us.
|the little angel says her name and the willow tree's balloon says "hope"|
And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan. He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ For the LORD your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The LORD your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God.”
The river looked uncrossable. But the battle was not theirs. God went before them and made it possible for them to cross... and they left a pile of stones to show everyone what God had done.
I think these rocks were exactly what I needed to see today as I continue to grieve losing my girl and wait to find out what will happen with this baby. God knew I would notice...It's like He was telling me that the battle is not mine. I told a friend yesterday that I just wished God would give me a clear answer on what to do. My answer continues to be "Trust Me, I AM the God Who provides".