Wow...by the time I got done reading this, I was crying. It really spoke to my heart. I am also very grateful that my kids see me continually going to God and trusting in Him through this trial. I know they are watching, even while they run around and play...they know Mama is reading her bible to Rachel. God is doing something great in them through this too... I am certain of that.
At Rachel's burial, Isaiah got very upset. He kept saying "but I don't wanna leave Rachel here" and as we tried to explain that we had to, our hearts were screaming inside. "I don't want to either" I thought. Well, today, as we drove off, Isaiah said "Rachel was so cute" and Des agreed... My heart was still screaming inside, "I don't wanna leave her here" - Every time we go to visit her, we have to say goodbye again...every single time, it breaks my heart.
Tonight I'm holding on to the promise that, while I am so weak, He will renew my strength - and until He does, He is not too tired to carry me. While life moves on for everyone else, my heart still breaks...God knows. He cares. His understanding is unsearchable. I have no might, but He will give me strength... He will give me wings like eagles.
Until He gives me my own set of wings, I will hide in the shadow of His...The only place I can sing for joy in heartache.
I'm waiting on You, Lord.