|This was right when we pulled up to the burial service. I remember how my heart sank when I saw her little casket sitting on the ground. One of the most painful things I've ever looked at.|
|My amazing husband carrying his daughter|
|A sad Mama & Daddy|
|Desirae leaving a flower for her sister|
|This is at Rachel's service during worship|
|Matt was still wearing his hospital bracelet- he wore it for a couple of weeks before he cut it off.|
In these photos we were singing a song called "We still believe" it says:
I need to confess, the week before I found out about Rachel, my faith was at a all time low. I was struggling to trust God with anything. Our computer had broke (well, Isaiah broke it) and Matt had said "instead of running out and buying a new one, why don't we pray about it" You want to know what I said? "OK, Matt that's a great idea and when God doesn't drop a computer in our lap by the end of the week, what is your plan then?" You know what happened?? On Saturday morning, I got a call from our friends Carole & Clyde saying they got a new computer and wanted to know if we wanted their other one, which was just a couple months old... I actually said "you know that sounds great, but I almost don't want to say yes, cause then I'll have to tell Matt he was right" :o) But more than that, I had to admit that I was of so little faith. I didn't believe God cared about the details of my life. I didn't start out that way in my walk with him, life had worn me down.
In that one week, we prayed about Matt needing new work boots, found brand new ones on our seat in the van after church - prayed about Des' clothes, she got a big package in the mail from Matt's stepmother....all things that proved the same thing over and over... He cares. The next week, when we walked out of our ultrasound, I said to Matt "this is what He was preparing me for" - He didn't give me a new computer cause He thought I couldn't live without one. He was showing me He was there....Just in time for me to really need to believe it.
Thank You Jesus for meeting me where I'm at every day, loving me just the way I am, lifting my head and my hands to You, and for comforting others through my trial. Thank You that You always preparing me in advance for what I have to do. Thank You for Rachel and for all You have done through her. Thank You for choosing me to be her mother.