Sunday, December 19, 2010

Our 3rd Baby

Just noticed the date... December 18, 2008 was the day I was due with our 3rd baby, who we never got to hold.  On May 7,2008, I lost that baby to miscarriage and with the baby, went a piece of my heart.  I wish we knew if it was a girl or boy... I'd have liked to name him/her.  Someone wrote me and told me that Rachel's story helped her grieve her miscarriages and that this year, she was hanging ornaments up for them both.  I'm excited for her and the healing that God has brought about.  This is tough stuff ladies... unless you've lost a baby, you can try to, but will never fully know the pain.  And once you know it, you will never be the same.  I've also learned through both of my losses, that sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is sit quietly with them, ready to listen without advice, and then give her a big hug and a shoulder to cry on.  These are the things I have appreciated so much and have determined to do for others in the future. (I've also been blessed with a few good huggers... Mom, Kim & Dixie... they hug like they mean it and usually make me cry, but whatever. (Nancy too!) :o)  Matt said he got some great hugs from all three of you at Rachel's birthday too!  So, it is the general consensus. you're good and we love you. :o)

Please continue to share with us if you have experienced a loss...  we would love to be praying for you and we are so blessed by your stories and encouragement.  Love you.

(I guess it changed dates while I was writing's December 19 now.  Another year gone by - and I should have been in bed a long time ago)


  1. I read your blog each day and know that you continue to be in my thoughts & prayers, even though we've never met!

    I had two miscarriages, one at 14wks (6/2/95), one at 11wks (1/12/96), my son Sebastian was born at 24wks and died 3 days later. I then went on to have my daughter Rachel at 35wks (8/4/99)- healthy & happy! - my son Xavier at 37wks (1/4/02)and my daughter Erin at 37wks (3/11/08).

    I remember each and every pregnancy - their due dates, the moments I found out I was pregnant, the days of their losses and births. I remember great despair and deep sorrow and incredible joy and hope.

    It is VERY tough stuff - and I don't believe that the pain of an early loss is "easier" or "harder" than a later loss - they're different, but they break your heart just as much. I think many people don't understand that.

    Thank you so much for sharing not only your beautiful family, but also your faith, your deep and personal struggles, and your joys.


  2. I am the mother of four sons. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you feel! The most painful loss I've ever endured was when my mother died 29 years ago when I was only 12 years old. Years later when I had met my husband and we were planning to marry I told him, "I wish you could have known my mother." I will never forget his response. "I do know her. I know her through you." Stacy, thank you for helping all of us know your precious Rachel but more importantly, thank you for helping us all know our precious Lord and Savior. We do know Him. We know Him through you.

  3. You are full of faith. I lost a baby in 2006 due to a miscarriage and it tore me up he or she would be 4 now and I think about it alot what would he or she look like. It was hard on me for a long time but I still could not imagine going the whole 9 months and then having to let your baby go. I dont know that pain and i can not imagine going through that. Yes i felt a big loss when I lost that baby. God blessed us with Faith Feb 9 2010 God had a differnt plan for my life and His timing is not ours. Your faith and your husbands faith is amazing.

  4. I lost my first daughter Taylor to miscarriage on 9/16/01. Funny how that number is forevermore engrained and burned in my brain. I was 17 at the time and don't recall anyone encouraging my grief-it was a "good" thing so I could get on with my life. What those who have never gone through it don't understand, however, is that is a HEARTBREAKING experience, no matter what the situation. My heart and arms ACHED (and still do) for that precious girl. By the grace of God I somehow (it was a total God thing I now know) got hooked up with an amazing counselor. If not for her I would not have made it through. I was soooo angry at God for letting all these bad things happen to me that I couldn't see that He was trying to lead me back to Him. 9 years, and many more painful experiences, later I am finally realizing that. It took having my second daughter Avaryanna on 8/3/09. She has been the biggest blessing in my life and as a single parent He is the only way I get through. The days I try to do it on my own I fail.

    I pray for ya'll daily. Thank you for your blog and your candor in it. Your faith, hope, and love are inspiring, encouraging, and a source of strength for me. I know that if you can faith like you do during such a trying time then I have no excuse not to pursue Him more. Thanks for sharing!

    <3 Andrea

  5. Stacey,

    Thank you for your transparency as you share with us your pain and grief as well as your wisdom and knowledge.

    After 12 years of trying to conceive out of the blue we did and found out in November. Unfortunately, we lost the baby last week. I was so sad and a little mad at first, but I remembered things you have written in your blog and it helped me to trust in God and not be angry. I still hurt and will always know the day our baby was suppose to be here.

    Thank you for your willingness and to help others even if you don't know you are...


  6. You can still give your baby a name if you like. I don't know the gender of my 1st baby so I gave a gender neutral name and then later prayed that God would reveal it to me and I felt like my baby would've been a boy.


We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes