Wednesday, December 1, 2010

While I Was Unaware

Me & Walmart have a love/hate relationship.  I reluctantly went yesterday to get some toothpaste and stuff while I was down to only Samuel for a while.  It was fun hanging out with him alone.  He's a cute kid, if I do say so myself.  So, there I stood in the isle trying to figure out what kind of pads to buy (sorry, guys) for after the baby comes and this lady came around the corner and said "Oh, you are so beautiful" - "Why, thank you" I said, as if I agreed.  She started asking about the baby and I told her how Rachel was coming early and why.  I said that she's not expected to live long and she marched over to me and said "They might not be able to do anything for her, but I know Someone Who can - His name is Jesus, can I pray for you?"  She asked if she could touch my belly and there we stood in front of the femanine hygiene products as she prayed for healing for Rachel.  We talked for a few more minutes and I told her "wow, thank you, sometimes you don't know how much you need something until God provides it"  I really needed to hear someone say with total belief that God could still heal her - and I needed to hear her pray that way.  I, of course, was now crying.

I did the rest of my shopping and picked a check out where I was pretty sure I wouldn't be asked about my due date.  I was right, the cashier didn't ask, but from over her shoulder the manager did.  I told her Christmas, but she's coming early.  She said "I don't blame ya". and so I told her why.  I had NO intentions on saying anything to anyone else after the first lady, but as soon as I told her, she came right over and shared that she has also lost two babies.  Before I left, we were both crying and she gave me a hug. 

I never realized how many people have lost babies.  It unreal how when I open up and share, 1/2 the people I talk to will tell me of a loss they've had.  Just yesterday, we had a women on the elevator at Maine Med tell us of a baby she lost 45 years ago and how much it hurt.  And while I've walked around complaining about not getting enough sleep cause one of my babies was up a lot, or fretting over some minor thing (blessing, really) that we as mother's have to deal with...  there were mothers leaving hospitals without their baby.  There were mothers planning funerals and trying to make a first birthday without their baby meaningful.  While I was complaining over the lines at the store or how expensive baby clothes were, there were mothers wishing they had a baby to buy clothes for... even wishing that baby could be screaming in a long line with them.  While I was completely unaware... mothers all over the world were crying as their hearts broke over empty arms. 

On one hand, I am devastated to be so keenly aware now - and on the other, I'd never go back.

7 comments:

  1. God has given you such a soft heart. I love seeing that in your posts. May He continue using you to bless others as you continue this journey. I know He will use you to comfort others you meet down the road. Your loud voice for pro-life and just your love for your family speaks volumes to those following your story. Keep on keeping on for Him! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. What an inspiring testimony of faith and for the value of every life.
    Prayers for you, Rachael, and your family.

    Cathy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Stacy - You do not know me, I found your blog on a friends random Facebook page. I wanted to encourage you as you face the delivery of your precious little girl tomorrow. Mys husband and I lost our daughter two hears ago and now run a support group for couples who are grieving their children called Hearts of Hope. Tomorrow is our memorial service. We will pray for your family tomorrow as a group. I know that this road is so difficult, and I am so thankful that you know Christ and that he is your every strength. I know that we could not have survived without him. I wanted to tell you I love your blog and what an honor it is to your little Rachel. She has a Wonderful Momma! Although many of your loved ones may never meet her on this earth they will feel like they did because of all you have done for her. God bless you and your family. As Rachel is born tomorrow I will pray she has earthly time with you outside the womb and it is nothing but beautiful.
    If you ever want some additional support, please contact us on Facebook at Hearts of Hope.
    God Bless,
    Andrea Svoboda

    ReplyDelete
  4. That post just melted my heart. You are such a kind and loving person. It was no accident that you happened to speak to those 2 women, God put them there for you <3.Praying for you, Rachel and your whole family.

    ReplyDelete
  5. When I was 12 weeks pregnant for our 3rd son they did an ultrasound and thought they saw cysts on his brain and were concerned about a rare Trisomy 14 condition where the baby lives only 3-4 months after delivery. We prayed. God answered. We endured 3 agonizing wks until the next ultrasound at a more advanced medical center 2 hrs away. They did "genetic counseling" beforehand--but we made it clear abortion was not an option--no matter what. The statistics were difficult to hear, but then we walked into the ultrasounds room where the glory of the Lord was revealed and Logan was born several months later---perfectly fine. Praying for you all!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I spoke with such joy, and sorrow at my ICAF Spouse Board meeting yesterday~I shared your beautiful story, your spirit, your journey. I am so proud Stacy that I had the little time God gave me to know you~to be blessed to share your story...You are an amazing woman, your testimony makes Heaven sing~How God must smile~~ I just want you to know there are so many people who did not know Jesus, until you....and Matt...and your beautiful daughter Rachel. I will be with you in spirit always praying for what God has for you~all of it. With such love and admiration for such an amazing woman, daughter, wife, mother.....

    ReplyDelete

We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes